Emotional Eating: How Stress Impacts Your Diet

Just like we have familiar eating routines, we also develop routines for managing stress. Each of us have our go-to strategies to reduce stress, and for the most part these strategies work. However, sometimes these strategies are not as effective, especially when facing into big or unexpected challenges. During times of heightened stress, we may find ourselves needing to manage but lacking effective strategies and falling into unhealthy patterns. 

Some of life’s bigger challenges such as having children, moving, taking on additional responsibilities at work, study, or relocating from home, all have an impact on our routines.  

At these times, we feel a different type of psychological and emotional pressure that puts strain on our usual stress management strategies, and we can find ourselves upping our intake of sugary snacks, consuming highly processed junk food or increasing our alcohol intake. So why do we still fall into this trap? 

Each day we wake up physically hungry and the routines that we developed around food and our eating habits are there to satisfy our hunger throughout the day. However, what we are less aware of is that we are also trying to satisfy three other hungers, according to Dr. Eric Berne,  and founder of the Transactional Analysis Psychology Theory. These hungers also need to be fed and nourished throughout our life, to allow us to grow and develop, and include:

• Stimulus hunger 
  
• Structure hunger 
  
• Recognition hunger  

Dr Berne’s observations on human behaviour were built on the research by Harry Harlow’s work with infant monkeys, and later Rene Spitz’s work on early child development, leading him to conclude that we have at least three other hungers we work to satisfy in order to live a long, healthy and satisfying life. These additional hungers, like our physical appetite, influence each other based on our daily experiences.  

We all need to be psychologically and emotionally stimulated each day, but what happens when we get too stimulated and overdo this hunger, such as spending too much time in front of a screen? Equally we like structure in our day, but what is the knock-on effect when our days are over structured with continuous back-to-back meetings? Perhaps the most under-satisfied of the three hungers is recognition hunger, where we might spend so much of our time in work completing tasks, that we forget to recognise ourselves for the effort we are putting in or when the recognition we crave goes unnoticed and unacknowledged by others. When we are too busy being busy, we start to neglect our own self-care and undermine our own wellbeing needs. 

During times of stress, our body and minds strive to satisfy these hungers, sometimes leading to imbalances. Conscious choices can intervene, but often we neglect beneficial activities like taking breaks or connecting with others. 

A simple example of this is how we know that taking regular breaks to move, stretch and change our environment like going outside or connecting with others is good for us, however we can neglect this and choose to push ourselves by sitting for very long hours at our desk or in front of a screen putting a strain on our eyes and body. Here we are over-feeding our stimulus hunger and downplaying our structure hunger, by not taking ‘micro breaks’. Another example is when we feel the stress and strain of long hours of isolation and find ourselves eating quick fix sugary snacks or junk food to somehow satisfy this gap in connectedness. 

During daily breaks, satisfy your stimulus hunger with movement or time spent with others, not screens. Unfortunately, recognition hunger is often neglected by quick fixes like sugary snacks or hurried lunches. Take the time for self-care—whether that’s self-acknowledgment or connection with others.

When we are under time constraints with competing deadlines (structure) we can also find ourselves grabbing snippets of distraction like watching short videos on social media, and trying to bring in some variety (stimulus), when actually what we need to do is structure in a real break and feed both our recognition hunger by going for a walk and catching up with others, which are more satisfying options.

One of the core areas affected when excess stress occurs is our diet; we often skip breakfast, skip the mid-morning break or even skip lunch; thereby over-feeding the stimulus hunger and under-feeding the recognition hunger. Brewing another pot of coffee may be our go-to tactic to combat stress, instead of reaching for the ingredients to make a healthy dinner. Over time this shift takes effect, and our body gets out of balance either with too much caffeine, too much sugary or fatty foods, and not enough personal time to relax.  

While stress is inevitable, healthy daily routines are very important for maintaining wellbeing. However, there are times when greater demands are made on our time, and our routines and diets are affected as a result. For example, when work requires us to travel often or if we are living away for a period of time, our healthy routines can make a real difference and safeguard us against forming unhealthy habits related to diet, sleep, caffeine and alcohol intake.

The good news is that things like travel, work demands, and busy times of the year are often predictable and can be psychologically and practically pre-planned for, so that we stick with our healthy routines. The first step is to work with the structure hunger and ensure that our daily break times are blocked off in our diaries. These are healthy boundaries we are asserting for our wellbeing. Of course, there are days where these may shift somewhat; however this should be the exception and not the rule.

During daily break times, we can satisfy our stimulus hunger by doing something that is not screen-based, and instead involve movement and exercise, time with others, or a combination or both.

Sadly, recognition hunger is regularly underfed by a quick fix mindset, such as eating sugary snacks or grabbing a quick lunch on the run. This is the opposite of feeding our recognition hunger, as we get recognition through self-care and self-acknowledgement, or acknowledgment and connection with others. This is where self-talk really helps. 

If you find yourself craving snacks between meals, pause and ask, “What am I truly craving?” Often, it’s not food but a deeper desire for recognition or connection. Balancing your routine by incorporating exercise, mindfulness, and social time will leave you feeling more satisfied than quick fixes.

If, for example, you have adjusted your diary to make sure eating times are blocked out, but you notice in-between times you have a sugar or food craving, then more than likely it isn’t for food. Maybe it’s a deeper craving for recognition and connection, and other options like taking a break, exercising, practicing mindfulness, catching up with others, or being in nature, will be more satisfying. 

By focusing more on balance in your routine, you will ensure that all three hungers are regularly acknowledged and addressed. This approach fosters heightened self-awareness and equilibrium, effectively preventing the development of unhealthy habits, particularly during times of heightened stress.