Parenting can be challenging at the best of times; doing it with mental health difficulties makes it even harder.
Parents are under greater pressure than ever before - from financial worries and concerns about online bullying and social media, to balancing work and family. More parents are feeling stress, anxiety, low mood, and depression. In fact, recent research has found that up to one in four children are being raised by a parent living with mental illness.
If you are a parent struggling with mental health challenges, know that you are not alone. With the right support and resources, it is possible to care for your children while managing your own mental health.
Here are 8 coping strategies that can help you if you’re parenting with mental health challenges:
Build a strong support network
Parenting is a demanding job physically, emotionally, and mentally. If you’re parenting with a mental health condition, you need a good support network in place. Find someone you feel comfortable reaching out to for emotional and practical support. This might be a friend or family member, or someone else that you and your children trust. It’s ok to ask for help as a parent, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. When you’re feeling overwhelmed and need support, enlist their help. This might be cooking a meal, giving your child a lift to after-school activities, or babysitting so you can have some time to yourself.
Prioritise self-care
It’s easy to neglect looking after yourself when you have children. But taking care of your children often begins with taking care of yourself. Whether it’s five minutes of meditation, scheduling time for exercise, spending time in nature, pursuing a hobby, or cooking a nutritious meal, it’s important that you build some self-care into your daily routine.
Get adequate sleep
Sleep impacts everything about your wellness, particularly your mental health. Aim for at least 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep every night so you feel refreshed and ready for the next day.
Stick to a regular routine
Certain everyday routines are necessary, even on your most difficult days. Having regular mealtime and bedtime schedules will help you to feel grounded, and give a sense of stability to your children, making them feel more secure. Just being consistent with the little things like reading them a bedtime story or tucking them in at night can make all the difference.
Reach out to other parents
Every parent finds parenting difficult. The parents you know are probably experiencing high levels of parenting stress too. Connect with other parents who understand your experience, and who you can rely on for support and advice, or a listening ear. Having another parent to talk to when you are feeling overwhelmed or low can be very beneficial.
Show yourself compassion
Practice self-compassion. No parent is perfect 100% of the time, so you shouldn’t blame yourself for feeling how you do or for making mistakes.
Have an age-appropriate conversation about mental health
You may be reluctant to talk to your children about your mental health challenges, because you may worry it will upset them or that they won’t understand. Having an age-appropriate conversation about parental mental health and emotions is beneficial for children and parents alike. Age-appropriate honesty about your feelings can help your child understand what you’re going through, when you’re not well, and also that it isn’t their fault. It can be daunting to talk about these issues, so you might like to ask your doctor or counsellor for guidance on how to start.
Seek professional help
One of the most important things a parent with a mental health condition can do is seek professional help and support - from a doctor, psychologist, psychiatrist, counsellor, or local mental health service. This may include therapy, medication, or support groups for parents that provide a sense of community and shared experience. It’s important to recognise that there is no shame in asking for professional help. Afterall, it takes a village to raise a child.
Need additional support?
If you are struggling with mental health challenges, consider contacting the Expat Assistance Programme – the confidential counselling support, included in most of our healthcare plans. The Expat Assistance programme is available through live online chat, face to face, phone, video or email.
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