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Do your plans for the future include moving overseas with your partner? A trailing spouse (we hate the term too) is a title sometimes given to an expat’s other half. Being the partner of an expat who may be consumed with their new role can be a challenge. Even more so if you are used to having your own career and a circle of family and friends nearby for emotional support. It is not uncommon for expat partners to suffer from trailing spouse syndrome.
Trailing spouse syndrome it’s not a clinical diagnosis, but a way of summing up the symptoms that come with giving up/putting on hold your own life/career in order to support your partner abroad, characterised mainly by feelings of loneliness, depression, and a loss of self-worth and identity. One of a number of ways to prevent this is to build connections in your new home. If you are wondering where to start, reading about the experiences of others can help. We have found some of the best trailing spouse blogs to follow for men and women who find themselves venturing into this role:
Trailing spouse syndrome it’s not a clinical diagnosis, but a way of summing up the symptoms that come with giving up/putting on hold your own life/career in order to support your partner abroad, characterised mainly by feelings of loneliness, depression, and a loss of self-worth and identity. One of a number of ways to prevent this is to build connections in your new home. If you are wondering where to start, reading about the experiences of others can help. We have found some of the best trailing spouse blogs to follow for men and women who find themselves venturing into this role:
The Lonely Diplomat
Phil has been both the posted diplomat and the accompanying spouse on two occasions. He began the blog when he was feeling isolated and alone as a trailing spouse. Phil’s blog, podcast and community are a fantastic resource for anybody who finds themselves in a similar situation. He covers topics that impact many expats and their families, including resilience, sense of home and friendship.
Post to read: Diplomatic Spouses of the world unite - this is a guest post however it is well worth a read about being a diplomatic spouse and what it may mean for your own life and career.
The Trailing Spouse
The Trailing Spouse is the German husband of a US Foreign Service Officer. He writes his blog in German and English. The blog covers moving from the US to Uzbekistan and the process of getting to know their new home.
Post to read: Busy Summer - when the trailing spouse outlines what was involved moving his family from the US to Uzbekistan.
Simone the Trailing Spouse
Simone writes about her life as a trailing spouse living in Bangalore India. There are posts on finding a place to live, cooking and settling into life in this part of the world as the partner of an expat, including how Simone worked to build connections in her new home.
Post to read: Day 3 Orientation – Simone’s thoughts on getting to know Bangalore.
I’m here for the Cookies
This China based trailing husband has been blogging about his experience regularly since 2016. His wife is a US Diplomat and the blog is a good source for some of the challenges of trailing spouse life including not being able to work and being alone quite a bit. But he also covers the process of getting hired by the Foreign Service as a spouse.
Post to Read: there are lots of interesting posts in this blog but one to read if you want to bring a pet on your adventure is; Getting your car into China. Of course rules and regulations differ by country but it’s interesting post on transporting your furry friends.
How to deal with the Trailing Spouse Syndrome?
Some other the strategies used for coping with hard feelings/moments are:
- Cultivate a support network: Connect with other trailing spouses who understand your situation. Expat communities often organise social events, support groups, and activities that can help you establish a sense of belonging.
- Dedicate some time to self-care: Look for activities that promote mental and emotional well-being, like yoga, meditation, journaling, or pursuing hobbies you enjoy. This will help set your mind at ease and give you a good physical experience as well.
- Set your own personal goals: Think about your own interests, separate from your partner's career. Pursuing personal development, education, or a part-time job can help you regain a sense of purpose.
Moving overseas with your expat partner may be a wonderful experience for you both. You will have the opportunity to enjoy life in a new city, country or even continent. Remember it isn’t unusual to find moving and settling in difficult. Support is available with an Expat Assistance Programme that can provide professional advice for many of life’s challenges.
Expat Hub
If you’re an expat working or studying abroad, take a look at our expat blogs where you can find all the information you need about expat life – including how to learn a language as an expat, 10 tips for a successful expat interview and more.
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