How to Deal with Gaslighting and Protect Yourself

Gaslighting is a form of manipulative behaviour that attempts to make you question your memories or perception of reality and can even make you think you’re going crazy. It’s a tactic some people use to gain power and control over others. It takes its name from the 1944 film The Gaslight, in which a man uses deception to convince his wife that she is losing her mind.

A 2025 study by the University of Brighton found strong links between gaslighting and symptoms of depression and paranoia, especially among young adults. This form of abuse often leads to profound isolation and emotional turmoil, severely impacting how victims manage their mental health.

Over time, gaslighting can slowly destroy your confidence and self-worth, making you increasingly dependent on the manipulator. Those subjected to gaslighting frequently experience anxiety, loneliness, low self-esteem, and sometimes question their own sanity.

Gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation that can be difficult to recognise. It often causes you to doubt your own memories, feelings, or sense of reality, leaving you confused and unsettled. Spotting the signs early is essential to protect your mental wellbeing.

Common signs of gaslighting:

• Frequently being told you’re overreacting
• Your recollection of events is constantly questioned or denied
• Feeling confused, anxious, or like you’re “losing your mind”
• Blame is shifted onto you for things you didn’t do
• You feel isolated or dependent on the person manipulating you

Here are some examples of what gaslighting can sound like:

• “You’re too sensitive.”
• “Why are you making a big deal out of nothing?”
  
• “You’re overreacting again.”
  
• “I never said that.”
• “You’re imagining things.”
  

 If you suspect someone is gaslighting you, these five tips can help you handle it.

Gaslighting works best when the victim doesn’t know what’s going on. If you feel comfortable doing so, let the person who’s gaslighting you know that you see what they’re doing, and you’re not going to stand for it. Instead of getting heated and going into attack mode, try to call the gaslighter out calmly. This will show them that, in addition to understanding what they’re up to, they are not getting a reaction out of you, which is what they thrive on. 

Documenting interactions may help you prove to yourself that you are not imagining or forgetting things. Save screenshots of text conversations or emails, take photos, or write down your version of events in a journal. Remember, the main goal of gaslighting is to make you feel disconnected from reality. Keeping a record of events as they happen is important so you can refer back to them as proof when you start to question or doubt yourself.

Setting boundaries can help protect you from gaslighting; for example, your boundary might be refusing to let others talk down to you or calling out gaslighting whenever it occurs. Be clear and concise in communicating the things you will not tolerate and always follow through. Gaslighters will be less likely to manipulate you if they know it won’t work.

Putting your emotional wellbeing first is a priority when dealing with gaslighting, because it takes such a huge toll on your mental health. Focusing on your wellness and self-worth may help lower your risk of developing anxiety, depression, or other mental health conditions. Do your best to find time for activities that can boost your self-esteem and bring clarity to your life, such as making a list of your accomplishments. Step outside your comfort zone to learn a new skill or hobby or try practicing meditation or yoga.

Though it’s often the goal of a gaslighter to isolate you from the people who care about you, having a trusted family member or friend to confide in is crucial. They can act as a sounding board, offering an unbiased perspective and reminding you that what you’re feeling isn’t “crazy” or “exaggerated.”

Sometimes an outside perspective is exactly what is needed to recognise a gaslighting relationship for what it is.

Recovering from gaslighting is a process that takes time, patience, and self-compassion. The first step is to acknowledge what happened and remind yourself that the manipulation was not your fault. Reconnecting with your own thoughts, feelings, and perceptions is key to regaining trust in yourself.

Practical steps to support recovery include:

• Seek professional support: Therapy or counselling can help process experiences and rebuild resilience, as mental health professionals are trained to identify gaslighting behaviour.
• Lean on your support network: Friends, family, or trusted colleagues can provide validation and perspective.
• Practice self-care: Engage in activities that boost confidence, reduce stress, and nurture your mental health.
• Set healthy boundaries: Avoid returning to relationships or situations where gaslighting occurs.
• Reflect and journal: Writing down your experiences can clarify your thoughts and reinforce your reality.

With time and support, you can recover from gaslighting, regain your confidence, and strengthen your mental wellbeing. Remember, recognising the manipulation and taking steps to heal is a powerful step toward reclaiming control over your life.

Dealing with gaslighting can be overwhelming; however, taking deliberate steps helps you reclaim control over your life. Recognising the signs, staying calm, setting clear boundaries, and prioritising self-care all contribute to protecting your mental health and rebuilding your confidence.

Remember, you are not alone. Gaslighting is a common form of manipulation, and support is available. Trusted friends, family, or mental health professionals can provide guidance and help validate your experiences.

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